Societal Norms
Questioning INternalised beliefs
As we grow up, we absorb many beliefs as part of our social conditioning. Societal norms affect every aspect of our lives, from how we dress and communicate, to what behaviour we consider to be acceptable and how we treat others. They are multi-layered and are shaped by the history and culture of our society, and how we are exposed to them through media, education and our interactions with societal institutions.
Some of these norms are beneficial, directing respect for boundaries like personal space or politeness to strangers, for example. Others reinforce prejudices and inequalities, such as racial or gender stereotypes or bias against minority status communities.
Looking at Origins
Internalised beliefs develop when the societal conditions we have absorbed are translated into personal beliefs without scrutiny of the truth of the norm, or the value and utility of those beliefs to us as individuals.
It is important to understand how this can happen before we look at how we can break free from harmful internalised beliefs.
Early Acquisition – We absorb many societal norms in childhood, before we have developed critical thinking or the ability to reflect and meaningfully question these beliefs. These norms often include beliefs that certain traits are more desirable (such as body type, skin colour or beauty aesthetics).
Repeated Exposure and Reinforcement – The more frequently we are exposed to certain societal norms the more deeply entrenched these beliefs become and it becomes harder to scrutinise or even identify biases.
Oppression and Power Structures – Societal norms (particularly those linked to prejudice and inequality) are shaped to perpetuate existing hierarchies. In order to “get along” in society dissent or questioning of the truth of various beliefs may be unconsciously suppressed, particularly amongst the younger generation whose place in society is yet to be secured.
Fear of Rejection and Punishment – For many, internalised beliefs remain even after reaching maturity and independence. Suppressing aspects of identity to avoid discrimination or judgment can persist, particularly where internalised beliefs have already led to self-doubt, self-esteem and self-worth issues.
Questioning Internalised Beliefs
Processing and recognising internalised beliefs takes time and self-compassion. The manner of their acquisition in early life means they may be very well entrenched and hard to shift, particularly when they have dictated one’s behaviour for a long time. Yet it is so important to move beyond internalised beliefs when they stand in the way of living authentically and in line with one’s values. The following steps can help in that journey.
Building Awareness – Try to pay attention to self-critical thoughts, doubts or discomfort centred on your identity. Consider the origins of these thoughts and emotions and journal situations in which they arise.
Challenge and Reframe Negative Self-Perception – Ask yourself whether the beliefs you hold are objectively true by reflecting on your lived experience. Question whether these beliefs are working for you or holding your back. For some people, adopting a daily practice of affirmations or expressions of gratitude promotes a healthier sense of self-worth.
Focus on Affirming Perspectives – Explore role models who defy stereotypes and engage with literature, media or art which celebrates and validates your identity. Limit your exposure to harmful narratives which reinforce the prevailing societal norms with which you are struggling. Seek out communities that reflect your identity and immerse yourself in acceptance of diversity.
Practice Self-Compassion Imagining comforting and supporting a friend who expresses the same fears or concerns you are experiencing. Remember that internalized beliefs are ingrained in social conditioning and not beliefs you have chosen. Mindfulness and self-care practices can help with grounding and emotional regulation.
Seek Professional Support – Working with an affirming therapist can help you to process internalised beliefs in a safe space. As well as fostering self-compassion and authenticity, a non-judgmental therapist can support you in examining the societal attitudes you have absorbed and how these have shaped your self-view.
If you are struggling with internalised beliefs which are standing in the way of living authentically and causing feelings of shame, self-doubt worthlessness or loss of self-esteem reach out to Unicorn Care today.